The Last Word - 5-22-12

What I want most, though,

is to set those words free,

to speak that poem to open ears,

whoever hears is fine with me.

This is my lonely soul

and this is the way it's always been

so give me my sweet misery and negligence

because Lonely and Miserable and Neglected

were the best friends that

ever could have been.

So, Miserable, my darling, I love you,

and any girl who won't have you

is a monster,

by which I mean to say that the one girl

who won't have you

only won't because she wants all of you

and all of them

and never to have to chose.

So, Neglected, mi carino, I love you,

now please accept my arms

and praise and love and affection

and know that I will be able

to have fun without you

but I do not want to.

So, Flighty, who has flown from me,

I love you.

So, Repressed, who has roared triumphant,

I love you.

So, Worried, who has wandered off,

I love you.

So, Giddy, who glides towards brighter days,

I love you.

So, Pretty, who awaits her thrown,

I love you.

And Baby if you hurt my friend one more time

I'll hurt you

but until then, I love you too.

My sassy, southern belle,

I love you.

My beautiful angels, left in Heaven,

I love you.

And Lonely,

and Lonely,

and Lonely you pathetic girl!

Get out of your head,

get out of the marshes,

get out of the caves

and the maze

and the nightmare

and say all the words

you've been dying to say

since they first popped into your head.

There is So Much Left to Do and Say - 5-22-12

“I sincerely hate you.

That is not to say that

I don't still want you,

nor that I wouldn't give anything to have you,

nor that I haven't already,

only that I hate myself for it

as much as I loath you.

For your brains,

your body,

your cruel, beautiful smile

that passes right through me,

I hate you.”

1. Visit every room in the school.
2. Meet every teacher
3. Graduate
4. Finals

“I have no idea who you are

and every time you ask for my help on

your homework,

your project,

your love life,

your friendship,

I want to walk away with a laugh;

but I stay and allow the continued abuse

because I think,

one day,

it will have been worth something.”

5. Kip a pull-up
6. Finish a short story
7. Write a poem
8. Go to a party

“You hurt me like you always do.

I work myself into thinking

the bright flowers are beautiful,

not poisonous,

and the bite gnaws into my insides in the end.

I tried everything

to reach you,

to be near you,

to slip beside you like one of the flowers,

but you always pluck me like a weed.

On a cold breeze the next time around,

I hope I will pass right by you

and all the other flowers

who bare your mark.”

9. Kiss
10. Dance
11. Bake twelve cakes
12. Get a new dress

“Everything I am and know,

I owe to you.

There is nothing of more importance

or value

than each memory

and magnet of wisdom

you have given me.

There is nothing I will hold tighter,

keep closer,

or love longer

than each thoughts you inspired me to think,

than each neuron you light on fire,

than each string you plucked

to the melody of brilliance.

Thank you.”

13. Sing even though my voice is terrible
14. Give her my clipboard.
15. Inspire
16. Breath

“I love you.”

17. Say everything I need to
18. Smile sincerely or don't smile at all
19. Love
20. Say Goodbye

Remember - 05/22/12

Remember three seconds ago

when you breathed?

Remember three minutes ago

when we laughed?

Remember three hours ago

when you thought it

would be so difficult?

Remember three days ago

when the present seemed

as far as the sun's explosion,

when every second was years

until the ceremony,

when each thought

could be put off

over and over and over,

when a day was a lifetime?

Remember three weeks ago

when a month was a week,

when time ran slower

as we sped through tests,

exasperated, anticipating this moment

that now we want for tomorrow?

Remember three years ago

when you stepped

through new doors,

thick halls,

bright classrooms,

with no idea

who anyone was anymore

no idea who you were?

Remember that second

you became the present

or has each second of future

become now

as each of now

becomes past?

Allegra's Theme - 05/14/12

In twenty years, I won't remember you
But you probably weren't that great
So get off of you high horse
And come and dance with me

Somehow we made it
Through trying not to survive
The end of the line and here we are
Somehow still alive

We've got battle scars we don't want to show
We've got heartaches we don't want to know
We've got pretty legs and ugly veins
Torn up thighs and broken brains

And tonight
Under graduation lights
I'm going to act like
I never knew how to
Pretend to be alright
I'll never be brave
I'll never be sane
But at least I'll never
Have to see you again
Tonight
Is the last night
Of this life

The girls and the boys don't matter
They were only reasons to breath
The girls and the boys don't matter
They were only reasons to bleed

In twenty years I won't remember you
But you probably weren't that great
So here's one last chance to make amends
Before I call it too late

I know that I'll never compare
So I'll stick to the freaks
And the nerds and the geeks
I know that I'll never compare
So I'll stick to the silence


We've got battle scars we don't want to show
We've got heartaches we don't want to know
We've got pretty legs and ugly veins
Torn up thighs and broken brains

And tonight
Under graduation lights
I'm going to act like
I never knew how to
Pretend to be alright
I'll never be brave
I'll never be sane
But at least I'll never
Have to see you again
Tonight
Is the last night
Of this life