my mind - 11/21/10

Welcome, dear, to a wonderland
It's a mind that's left this land
But it isn't bright as Alice's was
It's dark and bloody and covered in mud
So put on some boots if you want to explore
But I warn you, dear, it's a dangerous chore
If you find something that you can't ignore
Better leave before you find anything more
This world will ruin your wishful thinking
So if you don't like the heat, get out of the kitchen
Depression is here, insanity present
The darkness of mistakes is grinning so pleasant
These are your roommates, they're so much fun
That most sarcastic bunch of anyone
So enjoy your stay, dear, you're here 'til you leave
But the memories stuck and are yours to deceive

Black Light - 11/21/10

If you need me,
I’ll be in space
Come and find me
Take me someplace
Bright

Rain casts light
In the night
As we walk
And we talk
The streetlights
Illuminate
My heart
So bright

High On Sighs - 11/20/10

There’s blood on my brain
Mixed in with the rain
Of tears that came
So many years ago
But won’t anymore
So paranoid
Of everything
An angel’s broken wings
From a man’s cruelty
And my inability
To do anything
To save her
To save her
So paranoid
Of leaving
Being left
Grieving
For what was

High on energy drinks
High on the dark things I think
High on sighs
High on lies
High on believing
High on being

So we’re back to the blood
So we’re back to the love
So I’m running from
Everything I’ve done
Extra credit to cry
Not for me
Late night daydreams
Sleepless schemes
Midnight coffee
Lunch time insanity

High on energy drinks
High on the dark things I think
High on sighs
High on lies
High on believing
High on being

Bad Magic - 11/20/10

Falling back to bad habits
Falling back to dark times
We all know where this rhyme
Is going

Black cherry energy drinks
Chocolate chip cookie
Perpetual insanity
Bloody instability

Run, run, run, run,
Run away
Cuz we can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t,
Cannot stay
My mind’s going
My heart’s blowing
So don’t go away
Let’s dance to rap beats we hate
Pretend there’s no need to escape
That we ran for fun
Cuz we’re that madly in love

Teach me to see
Love the dependability
Thinking perpetually
About you and me

Lines and verses
On my legs
Telling stories
About good and bad days

Learning things
That I could never see
Seeing things
That I just can’t believe

Run, run, run, run,
Run away
Cuz we can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t,
Cannot stay
My mind’s going
My heart’s blowing
So don’t go away
Let’s dance to rap beats we hate
Pretend there’s no need to escape
That we ran for fun
Cuz we’re that madly in love

Falling back to somewhere
Falling back to sometime
Don’t you know where this rhyme
Is heading?

Easier and easier
Don’t look back
Don’t believe
In anything
That you can see

Run, run, run, run,
Run away
Cuz we can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t,
Cannot stay
My mind’s going
My heart’s blowing
So don’t go away
Let’s dance to rap beats we hate
Pretend there’s no need to escape
That we ran for fun
Cuz we’re that madly in love

It is Better to Forget - 11/14/10

I want to write everything
Every word
In the right combination
With the right spacing
And separation
So that my words form an arrow
To hit right through
The heart of whoever did this.

Some world we live in
Where it is better to forget
Then to know
Because the things we know
Are dark
Are scary
Are scarred.

What a world we live in
Where we step out of our homes
And fear.
Where we step into our homes
And fear.
Where suicide is an escape
And murder combats murder,
Where accidents and insanity
Weight the dice of justice
And Justice herself sees all
But does nothing.

What a world we live in
Where we are told to love our neighbors
And then to kill them
If they are not what we think they should be.
Where those preaching the sanctity of marriage
Are those who defile it
With the fifty percent divorce rate.
Where the strong leaders of our world
Are slaves
To their own desires.

What a world we live in
Where we spend more money
On weapons to destroy now
Than on knowledge
To secure a future.
Where we fight over oil
Rather than dying children.

Do you not see this world?
Do you not smell the death,
Hear the sirens,
Taste the blood,
Feel the hate?
It is everywhere.

I want to write
A poem for each problem
The likes of which
Will change the hearts
Of every being who reads it.
I want to align letters
And spaces
Just so
And create a heart-wrenching art
That will make a difference.
But I am no more than any before.
They have failed,
So shall I.

A persistent seed of thought
Has been growing in my mind,
That fire will burn everything,
Even fire.
That in the time we waste
Finding a perfectly
Peaceful solution,
More will die than if we end it now.

What a world we live in
Where the powerful don’t care
And the weak want to do good.

For young girls and old men,
For teenage boys and young mothers,
For the media whores
And the political bores,
For the sluts and the junkies,
For the honest criminals,
For the deceitful juries,
For the teen suicides,
For gay pride,
For homophobic bastards
And generic Prozac perfection,
For broken homes and broken hearts,
For lovers and rapists,
For mothers and murderers,
For children and soldiers
And for child soldiers,
For cancer patients in Hawaii
And young girls with heart failure,
For the bipolar best friend,
The schizophrenic college student,
The depressed genius,
For dealers and doctors
And for pharmaceutical representatives,
For bombers and beauty queens,
For veterans and their children,
For those who didn’t come back,
For those who aren’t going to,
For musicians who sell out
And those who can’t continue to play,
For writers of fiction
And for readers who believe every word,
For boyfriends and girlfriends,
For best friends and enemies,
For fighters,
For workers,
For strangers,
For the bums and the rich,
For shamans and spirits,
For the ghosts and the shy,
For myself
And for you,
Whoever you are:

I do not have the words to change.
But I have these words.
And, now,
So do you.

Sweet and Sour Lullaby - 11/14/10

I’ve got
One song
For the way I’m always feeling
Hollow and kneeling
Overcome, but dealing

It’s a sweet and sour lullaby
The kind that makes me cry
The kind that makes me smile wide
The kind that make me hurt inside

Tried and true
This is what it comes to
This one soul
That it feels like I stole

With a voice so light
For words so dark
That strike a spark
In any heart
That listens

If it’s destruction
Your reluctance
Is seeking this evening
Then you’re in luck
Here, it comes easy

Pleased to Meet You - 11/07/10

Hello, Ms. Temptation
I’ve heard your contemplation
Of universal equations
And your lack of motivation
So darling, meet Mr. Devastation
Looking for some great fornication
You two would be such a sensation

Can you feel my bones?
They think they’re all alone
And they think they hear the stars
Screaming, “Girl, you’re going far!”
But I don’t hear anything
Beyond my own muffled screams
From the ripping seams
Of my heart strings

I’ll let the sad songs cry for me
I’ll let the monsters kill for me
I’ll let the movies live for me
But I’m won’t let a thing save me

Let me lay it on the level
I am so pleased to meet you, Devil
Did you get my message?
Won’t you rescue me from Heaven?
Ms. Temptation took me whole
So I’m willing to sell you my soul
It’s no longer such a toll
Just get me out of this perfect role

After Mr. Devastation’s tricking
I find I’m lacking the conviction
To change the path I’m tipping
From his terrible predication
It’s a sticky situation
But it’s killing Miss Perfection
So I guess I’m in the right direction

Can you feel my bones?
They think they’re all alone
And they think they hear the stars
Screaming, “Girl, you’re going far!”
But I don’t hear anything
Beyond my own muffled screams
From the ripping seams
Of my heart strings

I can come so high, just fall so low
On a winning streak, up to a deathly blow
And so the story goes, as everybody knows
There’s no room for girls walking on tiptoes

Old Mr. Sleep is overrated
And almost close to jaded
Compared to the my amazing
Mr. Copulation
Keep me up all night
With your own source of light
Insomnia is quite alright

Even when sore and tired
Almost expired
From days and days
Of deprivation and haze
I’d still marry Ms. Temptation
To the terrible Mr. Devastation

You see, Newton got it all wrong
His equations don't work beyond
His own realm of thought
And I can see it won’t be long
Until out new math is proven wrong
And a new mistake is wrought

Can you feel my bones?
They think they’re all alone
And they think they hear the stars
Screaming, “Girl, you’re going far!”
But I don’t hear anything
Beyond my own muffled screams
From the ripping seams
Of my heart strings