Anger, Not Sorrow - 10/16/10

The neon lights
Of life
Are fadin’
As I’m running
Away form them

Well I was on top
Of Everest
And I saw the world
And it was all the same
Up there on Everest
The air’s so thin
No one could hear me scream
So I jumped all the way down
To the ocean floor
Below the ground
Cuz I never learned
How to break down

Say I’ve got sixty more year
‘Til I’m out the door
But I don’t think
That I’ve got
Any more than 44
Don’t ask me for the answers
Cuz I’ve never really known
Every “A” has been a suicide
A reason to be alone

Sweet 16
I’m not so sweet
If you could see me
You would scream
Cuz I’m only sweet
To the bugs who crawl
And creep
And eat me
I’m just a freak

There are no more bubbles
Rising from the water
It’s all over
No more tomorrow
As it’s always been
At least here
In this mess
Things make sense

I can see
Infinity
And, damn,
It scares me
To be nobody
Is a freeing thing
To be

Say I’ve got sixty more year
‘Til I’m out the door
But I don’t think
That I’ve got
Any more than 44
Don’t ask me for the answers
Cuz I’ve never really known
Every “A” has been a suicide
A reason to be alone

Anger, not sorrow
Anger, not sorrow
Anger, not sorrow
Someone help me
Leave everything
Behind
So I can finally
Sleep at night

The blood
Oh, the blood
My blood
It floods
It flees
From my skin
Cuz it can’t take
The state I’m in
And who could blame it?

Moonlight - 10/14/10

Sleepy eyelids cannot see
the way that wide ones can,
and with my eyelids drooping
dropping, dragging
still trying to stay awake
the things I see are shadows,
but not for lack of light:
your chin haloed like an eclipse
by headlights that flicker by,
street lamps that stand impassive as we move.
The hint of your lips,
not full, just the bottom one
smooth, soft, velvety to sleepy sight
and my resire to reach out
and stroke those lovely lips
curved gently upward,
not a grin, just a peaceful,
simple smile
that I hope has something to do
with my weary head
on your shoulder.
I notice, through sleep,
that every time the car turns sharply
and forced beyond our control
sway my listless form from you,
your grip on my hand tightens.

Pull me back, I'm much happier with you.

The vibrations of the car
pulse frequencies of everything rattling
our hands included,
wavelengths matching up,
crest to crest, trough to trough,
until I feel something like numbness
but in it the wholeness so longed for:
I cannot feel where my fingers end
and your knuckles begin,
the separation between our palms.
I almost hate every affectionate squeez
making me tell the difference
between you and me.

10/11/10 - 10/11/10

I know nothing
relativly
something
but anyhting
is everything
when it come
to certain things
the one fact
that won the debate
the one case
that should have been made
one little
twitch
flick
slip
and the life drips
out of the shell
the cup shatters
upon the ground