Renormalization Group Equations - 07/22/14

Run these couplings
up and beyond
the Planck scale
where the gravity
of the situation
may finally
distort your solutions
and force you
to take another look:

just because
you have the capacity
to crush,
to obliterate,
to decimate
each quanta of joy
I find,
doesn't mean
I must listen.

Quantum field theory
and I
are inadequate at this scale,
so pardon me
if I fall back
to another.

Blood, GUTs, Glory - 07/17/14

No direct product
of groups
will give any
unification
of these disjoint hearts,
no matter
how many new quanta
of thought
you add.
There is no representation
that fits
every sigh and lie
and hope
fizzing through
neurons
during all the songs
that remind me
of you.

XF2 - 07/17/14

A poem
for a friend
I refuse
to talk to
first
is not
the most
passive aggressive
I've been,

but that
was over you
too.

XF - 07/17/14

I could be spending
pretty poems
on pretty girls
who'd love me more
than I make believe
you will
if you'd just read
these pretty poems
I leave around
for you.

Hawking Radiation - 07/16/14

I want
all your love
the way a
black hole
wants to swallow
every quanta of light
to pass its
event horizon:

that's just how
the universe works
and neither
can be reversed.

Montana - 07/16/14

My memories of Montana
aren't all of Montana.
My eighth grade English teacher
told me about
the crosses lining the highways
and they became part of
my memories of Montana,
whether I've ever
seen them or not.

My memories of our conversations
aren't all of things we said,
but things I thought
so hard on
I swear I must have said them.

Pressed - 07/15/14

I keep leaving
flower petals
in shapes
on pages
hoping you
might take a
closer look
at their form,
might pause
and notice
all the time
I put into
quietly explaining
how I love you
with cryptic
flower petals.

I keep writing
poems about you
and leaving them
where you might find.

This is not an exaggeration - 07/14/14

I did not make a mistake
   I am the mistake.
I am not in error,
   I am error.
I am not at fault,
   I am the fault.

What I'm trying to say is
   I really fucked up this time.

How I'm Gonna Be An Optimist About This - 07/07/14

They're playing
"That Song That Reminds Me Of You"
I say as if there's only
one.

So I keep closing my eyes and pretending
    nothing changed at all
will the walls
start rebuilding themselves?

If I stockpile mistakes
for you to mock
or break social protocol
just to piss you off,
will that provoke you to
open my snaps
or text me back
or say anything at all?

Believe me, I know:
writing poems for people
who make you feel like shit
won't make them love you

but that's
how I'm gonna be an optimist about this.

Trial & Error & Error - 06/18/14

A Poem About Codes and People That Will Cause You Pain - 06/18/14

Iterate this:

For[ the first day we met,
    to the last time you answered my text,
    in increments of heart beats,
    Print[ the number of fucks I give]
]

Error: Very large output generated.

Self in a Vacuum - 06/16/14

It isn't until you finally
crawl back in bed
for the first time in
thirty something hours
that the weight
under your eyes
manifests,
that the knots
in your stomach
tighten,
that the sore
in your limbs
unhinges
the pain you've harbored
in silence
for the past
thirty something hours.

Maybe some day
I'll have some sense of
self in a vacuum,
of how I exist in the Cartesian product
of my self and my self,
of how to let
weary bones
have peace.

inverted circles - 04/25/14

i feel so goddamn hollow
like there's nothing left of me
but tired
like there's nothing left of me
but empty
like there's nothing left of me

no momentum 
no energy
no physics math or poetry

like i could pass
right through me
but i can't crease or tear

i feel so goddamn hollow

Coffee Beans - 002/17/14

Let me justify this
sleepless habit
by saying that
God
itself must have been
caffeinated
to create the world
in six days
and only rest on
the seventh.
So this rampage
through days
without breaks
is cleanliness,
as it is next
to Godliness.

I am drinking poison
designed to prevent
herbivores
from consuming
coffee beans
and I think
I've always been able
to feel it
but the only time
I couldn't ignore it
was when rainbows
covered chalk boards
on that first
24 hour mark.

ribcage - 02/15/14

but whatever
i was never
any better
or more clever
than the bitter
things inside
that control me,
make me hide,
turn my eyes,
keep my words
all locked behind
those angry things
caged in my heart