at this point it's just pathetic - 06/11/16

it’s been over two weeks of
tugging and
twisting and
pulling and
turning and
waiting and
examining and
stopping and
starting but
the knots you left in my stomach
still aren’t any closer to being untied.
i've tried and
i've tried and
i've tried and
i'm tired of
tugging and
twisting and
pulling and
turning and
waiting and
examining and
stopping and
starting but
i'm still just as tied up in you
as i was two weeks ago.

still - 06/11/16

it's 3 am
and the second hand of the clock on the wall
is almost as loud
as my heartbeat
in my ear
against the pillow
and the mouse scratching an escape
is almost as harsh
as my breathing,
as the strangely cold June air,
as the cat waiting to
torture
that poor mouse more.
it's 3 am
and I am trying to pretend
that I have diamonds rolling down my cheeks,
that snowflakes are falling on the pillow,
that there's a rain cloud in doors,
that the cat has been licking my face,
that it's allergies,
that the ocean misses me as much as I miss it
and sent me a salty water breeze to show it,
that the ceiling is leaking,
that it's not 3 am two weeks later
and I'm still finding new reasons
to cry over you when
it's 3 am.

Blue - 06/09/16

I always loved
the ocean
and swore it was
green, grey, turquoise, bronze.
I always loved
the sky
at sunset
when it's
orange, pink, red, yellow.
I always loved
blueberries
pureed and purple.
But I never knew
I could fall in love with a color
until I saw
you in blue.

you aren't there - 06/06/16

You are in everything.
Mingled in pronunciation,
intertwined in every verse,
hiding in
the sunset,
the sunrise,
the clouds,
the heat,
the wind,
the chill,
cursive s's,
dark chocolates,
twisted around all the little
phrases
I picked up from
too much
not enough
time spent stumbling
around you.
Your weeds
blossom all over
my heart
but you don't think they're
flowers.
You are everywhere,


but when I look

I thought we were - 06/04/16

a pair of binary stars
caught in each other's
gravity,

but the laws of physics
don't seem to apply to you,
just me:

spinning, spiraling
around you seemingly
endlessly

while you shine, shimmer, startle,
off in your own
galaxy.

Funeral Flowers - 05/31/16

With purple hyacinths
blooming from
the hollow cavern
in my sunken chest,
beating chlorophyll
through drained veins;

with chrysanthemums
spilling from
chapped lips,
broken bits
painting petals perinone;

with carnations buds
protruding from
emptied sockets,
stems and roots
deeply intertwined
with synapses;

I ponder:
"Lilies are more
traditional,
but would
tangerine tulips
bring you back?"

Never Have I Ever - 05/31/16

Have you ever loved a distant star?
Have you ever loved a light so far
away that her warmth dissipates
before ever reaching the love that waits?
Have you ever loved a burning sun,
her beauty seen by everyone
so for lightyears in all directions,
all they speak of is her perfect?
No? Well, nor have I.
What I wouldn't give to try.

By Tomorrow - 05/31/16

I've told enough white lies
To be able to recognize
Them from anyone
I've said my goodbyes
Memorized your stunning eyes
I know it's over
I know you're done

But lie to me and say
That our paths will cross again
Or, if you prefer,
Just say nothing at all
If it brings you peace of mind
To imagine conference,
Well, go ahead,
But I've let the pieces fall

By tomorrow
I'll have memories, nothing more
By tomorrow
She won't be on this shore
By tomorrow
It's just another closed door
By tomorrow
A broken heart won't matter anymore

buzz - 05/27/16

i keep hoping
that every buzz
is from you,
to save our
snapchat streak.
but I am not a flower.
and you are not a bee.

Ira - 05/27/16

Incredible
iridescent irises
illuminating interactions,
ionizing each iota
of anxiety from my being.
Imaginary numbers and ideal gases
fall immensely short
of their intrigue.
I would need to know
every complexity and beauty of the
infinite
before I could write them
into a poem.
I hope this will suffice.

Get Me A Telescope - 05/27/16

I've been more into particles
than planets
but
their heavenly eyes
have me
researching a career
in astronomy.
What a gift
to stare
at crescent moons
and lips
for a living.
It keeps me
living.

Cosmological Constant - 05/26/16

I have seen the universe in you and

you

are far more beautiful
than anything Hubble could have captured:
kindness permeating like dark matter,
love expanding and expanding faster
that has me humbled and enraptured,
leaving me to wonder how I stumbled
upon this shimmering collection
of particles and light
whose mere presence lifts and lights
the darkest night.

Her lips are nebula,
constellations blooming in each
soft word.
Her smile, I think
sparked the Big Bang.
At least, it did for me.
The blazing blue of her eyes
could only have come
from an O-type star.

Look how they shine.
Look how she shines.

And if her eyes are stars,
then each blink is a sunset.
O, Love, don’t go yet.
I haven’t loved you enough yet,
haven’t held you enough yet,
haven’t found the words to express what
I heard each held breath,
haven’t found the words to express what
I felt in each caress.
Haven’t simplified this stress tensor
or understood how our particles
interact together.
But these calculations could take forever
and simulation does little better
to stimulate all these songs I felt
but couldn’t recite without the help
of someone else’s chords
and keys
and melodies.
I suppose, now, it’s too late
to begin singing memories
that have drifted beyond the Kepler Belt.

But should this wandering comet
ever stray back into your orbit,
O, Love,
I hope I melt.

Terminal Velocity - 05/26/16

I am falling,
hard and fast.
I have fallen,
hard and fast.
Here, at last,
at terminal velocity,
but it feels like
I still should be
accelerating
toward them.
Can't I fall
any faster?
Can't I crash
any harder?
Hurry,
let me hurry,
back to them.

Sin - 04/18/2016

Stunning supernovae,
a superposition of heavenly spirits
sprawled like spectral lines,
spontaneous symmetry breaking
or a systematic supergravity,
the strong interaction
stringing us together,
supercritical points,
a shattered standard model,
the sublimation of skin to breath,


but I'd take a silent second
in her smile
over all of it.

Beta Decay - 02/05/2016

I've been falling apart:
complex exponentials
complicating existential
crises exacerbated
by soft syllables
of reassurance.
You know,
kind words
usually pass
through me
like neutrinos


but yours
turn me into
mile of lead.

Love Poem For H - 01/10/14

I sometimes wonder
what your heat break
tastes like
and if you lick
any wounds
when I retreat
from your life.
I wonder if
you're sleeping
any better
these nights.
I wonder
and I hope.
You can weave
a sunset
in your eyes
and fill me up
with pretty lies
that I believe
every time.
So I wonder
what I know of you.
I wonder if
I know you.
I wonder
and I hope.