and you leave such an awful taste - 07/29/14

At first I thought
I didn't like
dark chocolate
and
black coffee
because they're
bitter.

Then I remembered
I like you.

Library Trip - 07/25/14

The book you're looking for
is always going to be
on the bottom shelf
with the call numbers
on the front cover instead
of the spine
because
fuck you
that's why.

The people you consider
your best friends
are going to hurt you
in ways
your sadistic fictions
never prepared you for
because they can only
hurt you if you love them
and you love them.

Gnat - 07/23/14

I want to die
like the gnat that flew
into my ice cream

-

guilty,
regretful,
pained,

and so ecstatic
anyway.

Renormalization Group Equations - 07/22/14

Run these couplings
up and beyond
the Planck scale
where the gravity
of the situation
may finally
distort your solutions
and force you
to take another look:

just because
you have the capacity
to crush,
to obliterate,
to decimate
each quanta of joy
I find,
doesn't mean
I must listen.

Quantum field theory
and I
are inadequate at this scale,
so pardon me
if I fall back
to another.

Blood, GUTs, Glory - 07/17/14

No direct product
of groups
will give any
unification
of these disjoint hearts,
no matter
how many new quanta
of thought
you add.
There is no representation
that fits
every sigh and lie
and hope
fizzing through
neurons
during all the songs
that remind me
of you.

XF2 - 07/17/14

A poem
for a friend
I refuse
to talk to
first
is not
the most
passive aggressive
I've been,

but that
was over you
too.

XF - 07/17/14

I could be spending
pretty poems
on pretty girls
who'd love me more
than I make believe
you will
if you'd just read
these pretty poems
I leave around
for you.

Hawking Radiation - 07/16/14

I want
all your love
the way a
black hole
wants to swallow
every quanta of light
to pass its
event horizon:

that's just how
the universe works
and neither
can be reversed.

Montana - 07/16/14

My memories of Montana
aren't all of Montana.
My eighth grade English teacher
told me about
the crosses lining the highways
and they became part of
my memories of Montana,
whether I've ever
seen them or not.

My memories of our conversations
aren't all of things we said,
but things I thought
so hard on
I swear I must have said them.

Pressed - 07/15/14

I keep leaving
flower petals
in shapes
on pages
hoping you
might take a
closer look
at their form,
might pause
and notice
all the time
I put into
quietly explaining
how I love you
with cryptic
flower petals.

I keep writing
poems about you
and leaving them
where you might find.

This is not an exaggeration - 07/14/14

I did not make a mistake
   I am the mistake.
I am not in error,
   I am error.
I am not at fault,
   I am the fault.

What I'm trying to say is
   I really fucked up this time.

How I'm Gonna Be An Optimist About This - 07/07/14

They're playing
"That Song That Reminds Me Of You"
I say as if there's only
one.

So I keep closing my eyes and pretending
    nothing changed at all
will the walls
start rebuilding themselves?

If I stockpile mistakes
for you to mock
or break social protocol
just to piss you off,
will that provoke you to
open my snaps
or text me back
or say anything at all?

Believe me, I know:
writing poems for people
who make you feel like shit
won't make them love you

but that's
how I'm gonna be an optimist about this.