Back Down Again - 01/12/11

The memories
Of blood and sadness
Potent like beer-stained breath
Come back
Crawling with malice
A false hint of love in their black eyes
Hoping - knowing - they will win me back

Hence I do fall
From sunlight to shadow
With a simple push
A little doubt
A dash of misery
Bake at 1500 degrees
For perfect desfunctionality

Hopes that were built up with each day
The ones that passed merrily
Were then dashed so much lower
Stabbing shards in my chest
Boil blood in my veins
Teeth sinking into something
Anything
Ripping
Slashing
Violent and vindictive
Not thinking
Not noticing

Falling

The only thing I can’t do
Is stop breathing
Though not for lack of trying
I just fail at dying
Slow on expiring
Low on self admiration
Contaminated by annihilation
Far below expectation

So the current consensus
Is that I’m insane
Not that they know the half
Of my brain
Of the motors oiled with blood
Of nightmares laced with lust
Of hopes stroked like flames
Of beauty as painful as shame